Remembrance in life’s passing is the truest form of love one can give, for a memory should never die and a love should live forever in the heart of another. 2nd March 2008 at 1500hrs, at KNH cancer ward, her heart stopped.
Some days there are not words to share the love and hurt I feel. Some days there is nothing to write that will make the pain less real. So today I will simply write: I miss you more than words can say, I miss you every day Mum. Mothers are faithful companions and confidants even in the most difficult times. Mothers dedicate their lives to caring and providing for their children both physically and emotionally. They always seem to know how to help them to overcome problems and thrive in spite of them. A mother’s love is irreplaceable, which makes losing her to death an incredibly painful experience. While sons and daughters of all ages carry within their hearts a dull and lasting ache where they once felt love and security, it is important they continue searching for the happiness their mother always desired for them.
It was a long journey for my mother and her family. She was a good mother in spite of having cancer. She was strong to beat the disease every time it showed its ugly ways. It’s ugly to say but there is a sense of peace that just came over me in the last couple of years knowing that she is not suffering anymore. It’s such a long story. Everything she went through I felt that I was going through. In that journey she told us that “Some days are good days and some days are bad days and you take it as they come” Some days there won’t be a song in your heart but she sung anyway. “Seeing how she rose to the occasion to have to go through something that’s very frightening and unknown and still maintain her hope made us believe that everything will be alright. She was all hopeful. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell. Mum fought, and until the last minute she fought like hell. She finished all her therapies; chemo and radio. Though she was very weak; with her hair gone, needles all over, she never gave up, she was hopeful that she will be well; she had to be well, but God had other plans for her. It was time for her to rest. She completed her last therapy session on Friday 29th at 4pm and just when our hope was so high that she has completed her therapies she rested on Sunday at 3pm. As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit. One must not forget that recovery is brought about not by the physician, but by the sick man himself. He heals himself, by his own power, exactly as he walks by means of his own power, or eats, or thinks, breathes or sleeps. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. Anywhere is paradise; it’s up to you. It is in moments of illness that we are compelled to recognize that we live not alone but chained to a creature of a different kingdom, whole worlds apart, who has no knowledge of us and by whom it is impossible to make ourselves understood: our body. Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He’s going to be up all night anyway.
Our time on earth is brief, there are lessons to be learned, each precious day God gives us another page is turned. Every chapter full of memories, times of joy and tears, Triumphs and defeats, through every passing year. She loved us unconditionally, always by our side, when no one else would listen, in her we could confide. With gentle words of wisdom she led us on our way, down the paths of righteousness if ever we did stray. She saw the light in everyone and gave with no regrets; always from her heart let’s not forget angels come in many forms, for me it is my mother; with love I cannot say in words there’ll never be another. Every day I turn the page in my heart with every remain, everything she taught me as I stroll down memory lane. Thank you God for giving me the most priceless of all treasures, Help me Lord to keep alive her memory here forever. I pray that I can someday be everything she hoped I would, that is she smiling down from heaven knowing she did an awesome job.
There is a song I so much love; by Steve Wariner (Holes in the floors of heaven) it keeps me going….. (there’s holes in the floor of heaven and her tears are pouring down, that’s how you know she’s watching, wishing she could be here now, and sometimes when I’m lonely, I remember she can see, there’s holes in the floor of heaven, and she’s watching over you and me….)
R.I.P Mum.
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